Lessons Learned…
The Black Eye
Kids
are resilient; everyone says that. They are resilient to the extent that their
minds and hearts are malleable, they are willingly vulnerable and trusting
until they learn otherwise, and they have little to no choice concerning their
circumstances. They are, at their young age, along for the ride of life and
fully at the mercy of the scruples, opinions, perspectives, insecurities, and
personalities of those to whom they’ve been entrusted. Raising kids is such an
incredibly humongous and significant responsibility with unbelievably long-range
rippling ramifications frequently accepted with absolutely flippant and casual
consideration. Kids are resilient becomes the fallback excuse for complete
irresponsibility, and that is simply not good enough for these treasures known
as kids who bring unique gifts to this world that no one has ever seen yet. Although it may not clearly show, these little
ones carry the burden of our incompetence, our irresponsibility, our
immaturity, and all of the rest of our unresolved adolescence, and even though
covered under the guise of resilience, occasionally the burden shows up
unexpectedly. He was just six young
years old, but he had been to a war zone far too many times. He smiled and
laughed and played, studied and learned alongside his classmates, but it was unmistakably
evident that a rage was simmering just below the surface. With extra patience,
grace, and love an intuitive teacher would serve and reach out to a child such
as this one every day, every day, every day. The burning desire, the motivating
hope to make a difference especially in this burdened life would be a daily
over-riding mission to an intuitive teacher.
Could the rage silently consuming him and confusing him be assuaged with
generous and regular doses of all things good? I hoped so. Kneeling down one morning to help him with
his backpack, I noticed he was visibly agitated. You okay? No. No. No. I am not
okay. Nothing is okay. Everything is bad. Everything. Everything. Everything!
The final everything was shouted as he wound up and punched me in the eye and
then melted into a sobbing, remorseful puddle of tears and shame and
frustration and anger and fear. I hugged him until the sobbing quieted. The class
was silent and stone still, yet with deer-in-the-headlight eyes, their deep
concern begged to know why. Sometimes life is just very hard and it makes your
heart really hurt. That’s why we need each other. Over the next days and weeks we gently
unwrapped the paining issues and engaged the strong, necessary support to help
bring healing and peace to that precious little six year old. Children are children and their resiliency is
that of a child and should never be overestimated to accommodate errors of the
adults in their world.
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