Lessons Learned
Pursuing
Popular? What Exactly Is It?
Popular. Popularity. Some
people long for this with a raging passion that is fierce and all-consuming. It’s
a must-have. It’s a must-be. And to not have is pretty much to not be, at least
in the rules of popular. But what is “popular?” Is it a status? Is it an
aspiration or an achievement or a goal or a scheme? Is it even real? I believe
it is illusive and fleeting regardless of whatever else it is. I believe it is
synonymous with power, that is, until it suddenly dissolves. Anything wrapped
in power such as “popular” has high bully potential, and this certainly is the
case. Popular is most often maintained through fear; fear of being in, fear of
being out, fear of being nothing but invisible as deemed by the “populars.” I
have even observed teachers who have so feared the wrath of the populars, that
they allowed accountability inconsistencies to exist in their classrooms;
accountability inconsistencies clear to all but addressed by none. The power of
popular is very tricky to handle and almost always causes some degree of pain
to someone. I believe it has some very treacherous and destructive
propensities, as well. I believe popular emotionally resembles a house of
cards, which, upon its collapse, leaves a horrific wake of devastated,
shattered self-esteems and desperately exposed and tramped upon feelings, which
in some instances never in a lifetime recover. Why? For what purpose? To
be the king or the queen of the pile of what? And yet dreams of “popular” dominate
an adolescent mentality until alas this hope of all hopes is ruthlessly dashed
by another heartless aspirer, whereby one is overtly and publically deemed
uncool and thereby thrown out of the running for popular. Who picks and
chooses? Who sits in this omnipotent judgment seat of exalting one aspirer and
crushing another with frivolous flippancy? Is popular a supreme to the
absolute extreme rendition of the classic tale, “The Emperor’s New Clothes,”
where everyone but the emperor sees the lunacy and the tragic hilarity of the
situation? To pour one’s heart and energies into the pursuit of this
particular illusion of popular, which seems to be very real and important when
caught in the swirling sea of it, with thrashing and drowning part of its
diabolical protocol, is to leave little heart and energy available for the
pursuit of more meaningful, more lasting, more healthy, and more honest
aspirations. How does one determine one’s gifts or strengths or aspire to reach
one’s best if one is caught in the mire of clawing toward popular? Fear and creativity cannot coexist well.
Creativity’s very nature denotes uniqueness, originality, imaginative freedom,
and wonder-filled curiosity, none of which bend to the conformity expectation
of aligning with popular. Popular remains the best possible copy of what the
world tells it to be, and creativity simply will not be contained as such. To
not align is to be discarded. To be discarded is to be relegated to nothing
status, to invisible, and if a heart is strong enough to bear this, it will
emerge liberated and peaceful and on track to identify gifts, develop them and
use them to chase dreams and bless the world; a wonderful place for creativity
to dwell and flourish. Can we help our children with this, or are we just as
tangled up in it as they?
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