Lessons Learned
A
Gentle Answer
“A
gentle answer quiets anger, but a harsh one stirs it up,” Proverbs 15:1.
In grocery
store aisles and school hallways, on sports field sidelines and in performance
hall parking lots, we hear parents yell at their kids and then kids yell back
at their parents, and back and forth and back and forth, escalating ever
escalating as if volume alone seizes the final, most authoritative word. We
shout to assert control yet this very shouting bespeaks the control we have
already so very clearly lost. We shout because the loudest, most ferocious bark
belongs to the alpha boss dog, right? Or does it really? I believe we shout
because we have not effectively learned how to lead. One of the most amazing classroom
volume control strategies I have ever witnessed in thirty years of teaching,
was demonstrated by a young, shy, gentle, peaceful teacher who never raised her
voice above a hushed tone with students in her classroom. Their first grade
voices matched her quietness. No voice was ever raised, and it was a
beautifully calm room, lovely for learning. They listened for her voice and in
that stillness there was comfort and security. Conversely, several doors down
the hallway was a screamer whose classroom was invariably on the brink of
chaos. By afternoon each day in the loud room, the decibels had been ratcheted
up to an ear drum piercing roar, with everyone fighting to be heard including
the teacher. Exhaustion. Headaches.
Frustration. Why do we shout? Do we lack the confidence necessary to be still,
to be gentle, to be one who brings peace? In a world that regularly shouts its
demands and demands its own way, a gentle soul who patiently listens and
quietly responds is truly one of great strength and wisdom. Our children have tender hearts and ears and
need the careful tending of one who teaches and leads with calmness and
gentleness, both at school and at home. We all need this, no matter how thick
and hard our protective walls have become over time. Deep down, we long for
this. A gentle answer, a humble
response, a quiet calming word breathes peace into our harried hearts. Try it.
Be still. Turn the volume down. Respond with calmness, even if the impulse is
to roar. Hold back that lion and watch the gentle response that returns to you.
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